Category Archives: Life

A dog named Darcy – 2000-2011

For me, a pet is a companion. I believe a pet should be treated with love and respect and from that the return will be great. You will never regret opening your heart but if only from the pain of loss.

When we adopted Darcy I was not in a good place. I was deeply depressed. I was anxious. My life was stagnate. He helped lift me. He was my constant. This little dog barely left my side. For whatever reason he chose me to follow. He saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself.

Darcy was adopted from a shelter. My sister and I convinced our Mum to let us get another dog after seeing one advertised in the local newspaper. That particular dog was taken but instead my Mum and sister came home with Darcy.

He wasn’t a young dog, middle aged you might say and he had lived a sad life. He was surrendered to the shelter by an elderly couple that didn’t or couldn’t look after him and later surrendered again by a young couple that didn’t want him. I think it had to do with the fact he had severe allergies. He would be fine and then suddenly it would hit and he would scratch and bite for days on end. He suffered so much but he was so brave. As frustrating as this biting and scratching could be I could never of loved him any less.

Darcy slept on my bed. He sat with me and kept me company when I was sad. He made life bearable. I could hug his soft furry body, this little Shih-Tzu, with a playful nature and forget for even a brief moment my troubles. Darcy would look up at me like I was someone important, just stare up watching my every move, it would melt my heart.

When I moved out it broke me to leave him with my parents. I did. I regret it more now than ever. I feel like I deserted him. He loved me so much. If I could go back to that time I would never have done. I would have convinced my Mother to let me take him. I would have found a rental property that let me have dogs. I guess I had no concept of how little time I really had left with him.

One day he started limping. It seemed to start from nowhere. We thought he had arthritis, he was getting old after all. The vet agreed. However, not long after that diagnosis my Mum found a lump. He had a scan and it was cancer. Fucking cancer. It was an aggressive form. The vet discussed removing his leg. Mum didn’t want this because he was already old and small she didn’t think he could be mobile after the operation. Nor did she want him to have chemotherapy and have his quality of life ruined. She made her choice. My instinct was to do anything and everything but it was not my choice to make.

Darcy became less active over time but he still loved food more than ever. He would even try and play with my sister’s dog Dexter as he had always done. Up until the last time I saw him he wanted to play with his stuffed toy and eat as much as he could. He had grown tired one could see and could not get around so well but I did not expect that he would not be there on my return two weeks later.

Darcy was put down, euthanased, whatever. There were reasons I am sure. I know it is selfish to want to keep something/someone alive because you cannot let go. However, I am not a noble person. I do not want to feel loss or pain. I do not want to experience separation. I want to have my dog, alive. If you could feel my despair when I realised he was missing… well you could only then fully understand what this dog meant to me.

In honour of Darcy, I hope you can find it in your heart to adopt your next pet. Why not give your home and your love to an animal that needs it? Don’t support puppy mills and backyard breeders. Support those animals that are abandoned and need a home.

Farewell Darcy. I love you. I miss you.

Is there an off switch?

I feel stressed and with stress I’m becoming irritable. There are a vast amount of things still left to do and that makes me feel so  overwhelmed. There’s just too much for one person! I don’t know how to ask for help. I would love if help just appeared though. I just want to delegate some things and then forget about them and have them be someone else’s problem.

So maybe it is my wedding, but I don’t care. I just need help, support and some semblance of relief. I want everything to be perfect and as all these little problems appear that dream just slips away.

And how the fuck are you meant to work full time, have a full weekend of appointments/events, maintain a household and get shit done? I really don’t know the answer to this as the state of my apartment will attest. If I were rich I’d just pay someone to do it all in a heartbeat but clearly I am not.

Contributing to my stress are all these decisions I’ve had to make lately. I make a tough call and then I live to regret it. I hate feeling so guilty all the time and the remorse I could live without. How do I live guilt free? I just can’t. I don’t eat meat for Christ’s sake. How the hell can I live a life not laden with guilt if I can’t even convince myself that killing animals for food is okay?

I have moved off topic a tad. Though it is in a manner all connected. Connected to my inherent inability to do the wrong thing. Yes, right and wrong are subjective I know. Even that excuse is not enough to soothe me! Alas, let me depart and sit with my pain. Sit with my pain as I am alone without distraction and a one track mind.

Then, now, always

I have an obsession. It isn’t healthy but are they ever? I don’t know how to free myself from it.

When I am home by myself it is worse. I just go over and over it and there isn’t anything to distract me.

Sometimes, I think I’ve missed something. A way in, some piece of information to make me see clearly. The fact is that the truth rarely presents itself, you have to dig for it and you might not like what you find.

Knowledge isn’t free, there is a cost. Am I ready for that cost? No, most certainly not. Will that stop me digging? No and that’s because I have somebody to look after and that somebody is me.

Not that girl

How do you open up a dialogue with someone when the subject is so touchy? I have tried consistently and failed. Probably, because the subject matter is sensitive and I am close to it.

I’ve been trying and trying. I have all these things I need to say but I don’t want to argue. I just want to sit down and have an open honest discourse. I want to feel comfortable enough to say my piece without repercussions. I guess nothing in life is without them!

I don’t want to face a wall of anger or resentment. I just want to present my feelings and be done with it. Too many emotions, just ruin everything. I don’t want to ruin everything. I just want to be honest.

Happiness suspended

I always thought I’d be able fill my journal and later this blog with the trials and tribulations of planning a wedding. I was hoping to have happy anecdotes to share with my children someday if they dared to show an interest. Funny how things work out. Instead it is just me, wondering aloud if it will ever happen. Embarrassing myself by exposing my fears and the truth of my existence to an audience made up of well, who knows who. I fail at embracing future happiness.

Woe is me

I’ve spent so much of my life trying to figure out why things are the way they are and why people do the things they do. Now I’m leaning towards the school of thought whereby one just accepts that things are what they are.

I don’t wish to desert my desire to see change happen nor do I believe that change is impossible. It’s just that I can’t be fucked wasting my energy wishing and hoping on the “great” institutions of the world to do the right thing, and for people as a collective group to care.

Yes, I’ve become more jaded than ever. I was strangely more optimistic in the past.  Things were opened up for me but not in the way I hoped. Hope has been torn from my being and stomped on. Stomped, pissed and spat on, then set on fire. Set on fire and then filmed by some idiot who puts it on youtube and makes a meme from it. Bad isn’t it?

Why?

I have this stupid compulsion to unburden myself via the Internet all the time. I don’t think it is very healthy. Then again maybe it is. It makes me feel better, that I know.

I should probably say this shit to people face to face. Then again at least I have a vehicle for my thoughts other than my own head.

Is it a good thing to write vague emotionally charged posts aimed at unnamed people online or is a direct approach infinitely better?

Onward christian solider

I’m just so angry and I’m burying it. Sometimes it creeps up on me and I want to scream and be melodramatic. Put me face to face with the source(s) of my anger and I probably would. I can make a scene if necessary. I can be that girl. Trust me I have. Bertha in the attic, that’s me.

I want those clones to disappear from my world. To be forgotten and done with like a bad dream. Everyday that passes I wait and hope for it to happen. And I hope for none in their place.

Sadly, this is not how the story was supposed to go. Does it ever go the way it should? Always plan for the best, expect the worst. Keep your expectations low and you won’t be disappointed that I know.

Looking for something more?

This post is dedicated to those who seek to ruin the happiness of others for their own gain.

You can try as you might to hide your true intentions in a mist of benevolence but your desperation is so transparent that only an idiot could not see through it.

Friendship is friendship but you blur the lines in your mind so as to create the illusion of there being something more. You use words that should not be said. You share thoughts that you should keep to yourself and most of all you are completely opportunistic.

If somebody offers you their trust don’t betray it for a brief warm and fuzzy that cannot be sustained. Hold your head up high and accept the limitations of your place.

I wish…

I need a weekend away. I’d like to escape from the everyday reality of my existence. The pressure, the stress and the heartache.

I’d like to go somewhere cosy and warm, somewhere with a fireplace and hot chocolate. A place where the stores all sell trinkets and home made jams. And the streets are not busy, they are open and inviting.

I need a good surprise, no more bad ones. No more sadness, only smiles.